not a word from thou, not a even a smile

emo?? (regarding the previous post). just cause it's the 1st time ever i write how i feel than what i think i am 'emo'? fine, i am emo but i ll not admit i am for expressing how i feel.

it's 230am and i am restless and smelly (sweating while packing for camp) so i decided to blog a little before i head to camp - ACCA leadership camp 2008 meeting at college at 7am (4 and the half hours to go.)

so, back to the emo part. it may be a fact the many, not all, but many guys hardly express their feelings be it love, hatred, jealousy, sadness... i, as you may say, is that guy but not entirely the two-faced guy. i always put a smile on my face cause i am happy and fortunate and feeling a little lucky for that day and most importantly, my little smile put a wide smile on other people.

Does that mean i am always happy? no, obviously. i do get sad and feel lonely at times but that's when i think of it - problems and feelings i can't control and understand little of. (don't worry people, i don't show this sad face to anyone. don't want to see u sad now, do i?)

i will put on my headphone and blast the music when i am angry. sometimes just switch on the tv to release stress. but, what do i do when i am sad, jealous and 'emo'? first, i have to come to my conscious-self and realised how i feel which is hard sometimes but it's very important to KNOW what am i feeling. 2nd, i ll ask why i am feeling like that? 3rd, i ll just meditate and calm my mind and try to be focus. OR i just let the feelings be and continuing having the negative feelings. (which is no good. always think positive and choose to think positive)

'don't just be physically strong, be strong MENTALLY'

Always remember the PURPOSE of LIVING and the objective of your life. that's the 'thing' that keeps me standing and fight for survival. there's always ups and downs, isn't that what makes our lives interesting and challenging?

Anyway, the truth is i am a master of hiding my feelings, my love. maybe i ll keep it that way and let time take it's path till after my studies (if i am that patient). for now, i would like everyone whos reading this line or sentence to put a wide smile on your face. and if ur friends and family is close by, turn to them and ask them to smile with you. (come to think of it, everyone smiling for no reason might actually make us looks like mad fellows huh? haha)

Hey, what did i just ask you to do?
SMILE rmbr?

oh great, it's 3am and i gotta wake up at 6am. hopefully i can wake up...i better do.

insignificance?

Inspired by Sharon Soh (whom i call Yong Hui),

My classmates

Form 5 Cekal

Friends? what does it mean by the word friends? i had a hard time to actually understand what is the meaning of friends...

If you asked me when i was in form 5, 'WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS? whos your best friend?' sadly, i don't know how to answer that. During my form 4 and form 5, i was so busy with prefect stuff till it's like the other half of me. my duty took over my personal life. Besides, during my secondary life, i can't hang out with friends to Pyramid or summit or anywhere, except for basketball or birthday parties so my friend is home, tv, basketball n bro?

Today, i realise actually, it's more like during college time after school i realised that my friends are everywhere. it's i, the ignorant fool who is too blind to see their presence. they play a small role in my life but they make huge difference in me by being there for me, hang out, chat, blog bout each other, go for holiday, play basketball, futsal, badminton, stay over, watch movie, plan a surprise birthday, guys talk, go mamak...If it weren't for you all, i won't have ALL these FUN!

i realise that it's my fault that i don't spend time with you all. i am always busy and everything(bad excuse though) but the thought of inviting me out - well, that's something i am really touched & grateful bout.

Just FYI, guys don't really show their emotional part cause we are MAN and it's not easy, so i am gonna give it a try.

Secondary friends,
Best friend :
Corey - known you since Form 1 and only manage to talk with you these couple of years. u r the MAN!
Adeline Tan - not sure if u r reading this but if u r, i know u listen to people's problem and all and i don't tell you my problem but i know u r a good girl. STUDY SMART and score k!

Friends i will never forget:
Darren Here - i still rmbr we argue during meeting and now, i see u in college. haha. CAT is not easy k. it need effort!
Hema - hey, it's been a long time since we last talked. thanks for last year's 'surprise' bday party.
Leon - we don't talk much but i know you have good intention in you. good luck with your exam! hope to see ya around.
Daryll - I don't know you during high school but wat i do know is 'try n control ur hormones!'
Hadry - i see ya around and you see me, no more swimming?
Shing Vee - known each other since form 1, till this day, i know i can depend on you on anything.
Huey Ling - i won't forget you though, keep that smile on you always!
Jin Wei - How's Switzerland? hope you have as much fun there as you did here. hope to see ya soon.
Kang Min - we were close for a while & i rmbr the surprise bday we gave Adeline on exam week,i guess i still owe you the expensive bday present which i didn't intend to share huh?
Felyn - i know you don't have blog and probably you don't read blogs. good luck with University (if ever u r gonna read this)haha.
Denise - i rmbr u were complaining in class bout this and that. guess wat? i keep the secret & didn't tell anyone till i forget wat is it bout. haha.
Yong Hui - thanks to you, u reminded me to thank everyone. we hardly talk during form 4 & 5 i guess. but did a little talk in form 3? haha.
many many more...

Actually, i have been different class in SMK USJ 13
Form 1 Dinamik
Form 2 Bakti
Form 3 Amanah
Form 4 Cekal
Form 5 Cekal

i have all sort of friends from form 1 'tidak-apa' to form 2 'ponteng class & fool around' to form3 'freaking hardworking people' and in Form 4 & 5 - 'whatever is fun' & i am consider the 'smart one in class??'.(ya, by passing Add math huh? ya right.)

Moments like those
can't be bought,
can't be measured,
surely can't be shown or understood by others
but Definitely,
Be treasured and kept deep within
my Heart & Thoughts
MY MEMORY

this post is applicable only for my secondary friends.(haha, sounds so formal)
Today, i have so MUCH friends such as friends i known since Birth, primary school friends, COLLEGE FRIENDS, friends i known for 10days(USA holiday), friends i never met and everyone i met and grateful to know.
what's important is - i want everyone to know - 'i am always here for you!' (if ever u need help or anything...)

this may be my greatest confession ever or not
my secrets r well kept, just so u know

CAT Graduation 2008

For those who didn't know, i finished my CAT (Certified Accounting Technician) and had my graduation yesterday(22nd March 2008). Currently, i am doing Acca - Law, Performance Management and Tax. 3 very challenging papers to be attempt this June 2008.

more pictures on Facebook

cure? sick? decease?

(please don't waste your time reading below - irrelevant)

of all days, it had to be today, progress test for LAW.

1st thing in the morning, i can't see far. i mean everything beyond 2m is BLUR. had to wash my face in the toilet only the vision came.

then, PT in 3.13-3.14. after finishing question 1 (consideration - probably the only question i am confident of), my tummy came to an 'ouch' or ache moment. at first i thought i need to pee. then after a few minutes, the pain comes again. it's the 1st time i have ever, ever experience such a pain. 1st it hurts at the stomach. i thought my belt is too tight, but it's not. then the pain kinda like carry down to my crotch. (weird but true)

i kept blaming the 'curry mee' i had during breakfast/lunch. the pain was so bad till i cant think but hold my stomach. so, i decided to go the toilet (which i never never went to a toilet before during any exam - unfortunately i have to this time). guess wat? NO BIZ. the worst part, i can't even pee!! standing there waiting and nothing. haha(gosh this is embarrassing. i wanna remember this day so i better write/type it down somewhere)

weird enough, when i walk i didn't feel anything. so, i got to my place and continue the PT (it was about 330pm or so). at first i felt great and full energy to do the test. suddenly, 'ouch'. oh no, not again. about 4pm, i told myself 'just hang in there, it's just for another hour.'

it's not the curry mee, not stomach pain then wat is causing the pain? worm in my tummy that is swimming till my crotch? ewwww. ok back to law. focus! focus!

i felt normal again at about 510pm, when i was using my pencil to underline the sub-headline. Amazingly, NO PAIN or whatsoever. after the exam, i felt a little pale and tired after resisting the torturing pain (but i don't think i look pale). 'thank goodness it's just a progress test'

so, walking out of the room, saying goodbye to humans and cried 'if i pass, i love myself' (which i feel it's not possible to pass. not possible.what's the reason? we ll discuss about it next time). i quickly went off cause i thought i might need to use the toilet, instead, i felt PERFECTLY healthy. no more whatsoever pain or 'ouch'.

i kept cursing my body while waiting for my mum. 'of all days and of all the time in my life, it had to be TODAY 200pm-515pm' (fish la!)

212 points, so you achieved position 496745 of 1077867 on the ranking list
You type 320 characters per minute
You have 46 correct words and
you have 1 wrong words

194 points, so you achieved position 583704 of 1077904 on the ranking list
You type 321 characters per minute
You have 49 correct words and
you have 3 wrong words

235 points, so you achieved position 392618 of 1077956 on the ranking list
You type 328 characters per minute
You have 54 correct words and
you have 1 wrong words

231 points, so you achieved position 410038 of 1078007 on the ranking list
You type 322 characters per minute
You have 54 correct words and
you have 0 wrong words

158 points, so you achieved position 759628 of 1078051 on the ranking list
You type 306 characters per minute
You have 47 correct words and
you have 6 wrong words

179 points, so you achieved position 657524 of 1078088 on the ranking list
You type 347 characters per minute
You have 51 correct words and
you have 9 wrong words

145 points, so you achieved position 820233 of 1078135 on the ranking list
You type 305 characters per minute
You have 43 correct words and
you have 6 wrong words

204 points, so you achieved position 534844 of 1078209 on the ranking list
You type 306 characters per minute
You have 52 correct words and
you have 1 wrong words

192 points, so you achieved position 593727 of 1078261 on the ranking list
You type 304 characters per minute
You have 54 correct words and
you have 3 wrong words

54 words

Speed test

i use all my fingers...

waiting reply...

What did i do in Karbi? well, we ate and ate and ate and ate. that's wat i did.

Chicken Island - the end of the island suppose to look like a chicken, but it looks more like a turkey. haha

everyone is wearing sunglasses. haha

hey, meet my elder brother. handsome huh? haha

a little tips for those planning to go Krabi, an island in Thailand:
-bargain the price for EVERYTHING (except for restaurants such as McDonalds,Black Canyon Coffee and 7-11 shop)

what do i mean by EVERYTHING?

• clothes
  
• bracelet
• city tour
• island hopping
  
• tutu - aka taxi
• taxi - car
• bus
• SOUVENIRS

why bargain? cause the price they set is for foreigners (orang putih or guai lo) . in fact, 98% of the tourist are orang putih. We are like the rose between the thorn or the thorn in the roses.

- bargain HALF the price they give. haha.

The Power of Love is to motivate one man to go beyond his limitation and achieve happiness beyond his imagination.,.

Sometimes, in fact most of the time, i really astonished or amazed how many people or according to my calculation, most bloggers have really good command of Language. and yes, i am talking about ENGLISH. i totally admire the flowery words they use, the way they write that can catch you into their stories and after reading, you will end with 'wow' or 'nice'. ya, i am talking about you if you are a blogger. For me, it's just... ya just.... nothing POWERFUL if you wonder. i write what i think or how i feel(that depends cause how i feel is pretty dangerous).

Anyway, that's what i think. What i would like to share is...MY PROBLEM. a problem is only a PROBLEM when you see it as a barrier or disturbance. it's a PROBLEM when you acknowledge it as a problem. For example(not related to me), if you think having Rm 120 only in your wallet is not enough and you hope for more. wait, bad example. For example2(related but not a problem to me), if your allowance is only Rm100 a month is not enough and you demand for more but your parents refuse to give. You are frustrated and mad and angry about it then it's a problem. If you think, Rm100 is just enough for me per month and i will start saving and try not to over spend - then a 'problem-gonna-be' will be not a problem at all. you dig?

So, my Greatest problem though not really a BIG problem is WATCHING TV. i am an tv addict. i am totally addicted to tv, totally. If you ask wat show i watch if i am so addicted? my ans: ANY SHOW. i just switch the channel and stop to the one that's interesting. usually it's movies channel (411, 412, 413) and star world 711 and animax 715. lately however, i am into 707 travel channel which i find boring at 1st but it's really amazing - party planner with david turtera is awesome(influenced by someone who fancy this channel), some travel the world thingy(globe trekker) and FOOD from all over the world.

yes, i just sit in front of a tv and stuck there for bout 2 hours (when i can use this time to finish a full business tax computation question or study for LAW). i tried to resist but my mind just wonder about wats gonna happen to the guy or hero. i watch so much tv till i can predict the ending of a movie or wat's gonna happen next. and i can assure you it's 80% correct. usually, my brother and i will predict the ending and start betting whos gonna win.

with every problem, there's a solution. What's mine? DONT WATCH TV. (ops, i just did a few minutes ago. was watching the lost room.now that's something unusual and interesting to watch and to know more)

then my second PROBLEM, would be....that would be something personal. i will write bout it if the title of my blog is 'My Vision' but it isnt. it's 'Thy(means your) Vision'. so what you see is what you get to read and wat you see may be different from what i see although we are looking at the same thing. One man's meat is another man's poison.

i think i can get over it...ahh...the addicition is killing yet satisfying. i always tell my parents 'look, you should be proud that i am addicted to tv and not smoking or drinking or going cyber cafe secretly to play. i do my addiction (watching tv) in front of you at home' and they just nod. haha...

there it is. my confession you may call though i think many people know about it. anyway, TV ROCKS!! haha. if only i had a plasma tv and not the old junk.